Story
For the opening track of the album, I wanted the lyrics and intsrumental to really set the tone for the rest of the album. To do this, I used a very fun and exciting instrumental (produced by locket) and wrote lyrics that were very tongue in cheek and literal. As the song title suggests, this song literally brings you up to speed on what's been going on in my life. It covers my journey in music as well as the story of meeting friends and lovers over the years. It also sets the stage for the rest of the album by bringing up the main struggle I battled while writing this album: the fear of pain and heartbreak.
The song starts with my earlier days in music and mentions a nasty relationship I entered into. The first verse also discusses the small deathcore project I started that never really went anywhere. That's what the line "Made some songs with some friends they were peak" is referencing. I slowly transitioned from metal into the hyperpop/underground scene when I started producing in FL Studio. My original sound was very reminiscent of Lil Uzi Vert and cloud rap in general, but nowadays my sound is probably more similar to artists like Playboi Carti, Sofaygo, and others in the rage rap scene.
Fun Fact, I actually did play guitar till my fingers were bleeding once. I was practicing for a music recital competition, and I practiced for 8 hours straight. By the end, my pinky finger had sliced open and was bleeding. I put a band-aid on, went to the competition, and ended up getting second place!
The next verse focuses on my relationship with God, which at the time was in an interesting place. I finally broke up with the girl I was dating, and promised God I would really go all in for Him. But I didn't. At least not for a while. Luckily, He helped me get to that point, and now I will never turn back!
Next, I discuss my attempts to make music and the new enviroment of college. I sucked at first, but over time I got better. And I did keep my drumkit in Google Drive! Then I started going to college in a community college about an hour away from my home. I didn't know anyone, and it felt like I was starting over. I struggled to make friends at first, until my counselor introduced me to a girl and a guy who I am now very close with. We started a small Bible study on campus that ended up exploding and becoming a huge Bible club for the school. I made tons of friends and felt right at home. Over time, me and that girl got closer, and I eventually asked her out, about a year after we met.
This is where the main topic of the album comes in. I let my fear get in the way of the joy God had put before me. In my relationship, in my heart, in my life as whole. The track leaves us there, and opens up the rest of the album to tell the story of how God worked in my life to help me overcome and conquer the fears I held (and still hold at times! Growth in never a one and done thing).